FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Thanksgiving Edition)

Five Regrettable Macy’s Parade Balloons

Hitler’s Moustache – 1937

Rob Lowe Dancing with Snow White – 1989

Occupy Wall Street – 2012

Nixon with a metal detector – 1973

Brian Dunkelman – 2002

 

Five Little Known Thanksgiving Traditions

Gravy dancing

Tryptophantasy football

Turducken chuckin’

Stuffing the second cousin

The pardoning of the yams

 

Five Pilgrim Complaints

That boat was really cramped.

The New World smells like ass.

Those #@&% posers in Jamestown.

Buckle hats are soooo 1618!

Squanto and Myles Standish should just get a room, already!

 

Five Pie Injuries

Hot cobbler blisters

Crust in the eye

Sprained meringue

A la mode on the knee

Carpal tunnel rhubarb

 

Five Broadway Musicals for Turkeys

The Best Little Henhouse In Texas

A Chorus Brine

Joseph and the Technicolor Butterball

Kinky Snoods

Giblets Over Broadway

 

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