Hello, Kitty

I was surfing the web a while back when one of those animated ads caught my attention. It was a cat, a cute little cat, that’s all – and the caption said, “Pet the kitty.” Normally, I eschew any and all attempts to lure my attention via these web site atrocities – I mean, theoretically we’re all just one click away from some Nigerian phishing scam – but instinctively, reflexes borne of years of veterinary and no-kill shelter work, my hand moved the mouse over to where the feline sat. I didn’t even click on it or anything when suddenly the ad morphed into some gridiron motif and the following words appeared: “Did you really try to pet the kitty? You need some fantasy football!” Yes, it was an ad for fantasy football.

Well, I could go on and on and wax philosophical about how our nation’s screwed up notions of what is and what is not manly has turned men into testosterone-fueled jokes, one hate crime away from pummeling all that is different and “girlie” into macho submission. I could point out the hypocrisy of how the same guys who gave me swirlies in high school for carrying around 20-sided die now spend more time playing fantasy games than I ever did. I could even wail and gnash over the base immorality of the vile bait and switch used in what is, if not the most evil, certainly the most annoying form of advertising known to man – the website pop-up.

But all of that is irrelevant to one simple fact: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PET KITTIES! That doesn’t make me less of anything and I don’t apologize for it. Cats are nice. I like them. They’re sweet and cute and furry and bundles of fun. And I like to pet them.

Deal with it.

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