Five Geek Pickup Lines
I have every episode of Space: 1999 on Laserdisc.
If you think my Doctor Who scarf is long…
Aren’t you a little hot for a Stormtrooper?
If you were a comic book, your condition would be very fine!
I just cast an engorgio spell – in my pants!
Five Nick Fury Complaints
Lack of depth perception
Life model decoys make my ass look fat
SHIELD helicarrier runs on used cooking oil so clothes always smell like french fries
Howling Commandos won’t accept Facebook friend requests
As cool as Samuel L. Jackson makes me look, I can never live down the fact I was once played by David Hasselhoff
Five Rejected My Little Ponies
Gretchen Fetchen Candyretchen
Five Comic-Con Nightmares
The panel featuring Joss Whedon was cancelled
That one Slave Leia cosplayer who made Mama Cass look svelte
I ran out of Travelers Cheques on Day 2
Matt Smith called my bowtie “fawning and obsessive”
Five Signs You’re Addicted To Pokémon
When ordering at the drive thru, you say things like “Quarter Pounder with Cheese, I choose you!”
Your Squirtle-shaped swimming pool
Your résumé lists Team Rocket as a reference
The Pikachu tattoo on your ass
Number of Pokémon tournaments you’ve entered – 65 / Number of dates you’ve had – 0