FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Rarely-Used Sexual Roleplay Characters

Edward Snowden

The GEICO Gecko

UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki-moon

The Orkin Man

That chick that comes out of the well in The Ring

 

Five Sharknado Sequels and Spin-offs

Shark Continental Drift

Narwhalnado

Sharkgasm

One Fin Day

SharkNATO

 

Five First Date Faux Pas

Showing up late

Dominating the conversation

Telling him how awesome your last boyfriend was in bed

Bringing along your Yu-Gi-Oh! cards

Slathering dessert on your bare chest and inviting her to “lick off, baby … lick it all off!”

 

Five Monkey Nightclub Names

Baboon’s Farm

NightCapuchin

Bonoboisterous!

Tamarinsanity

Marmoset There’d Be Raves Like This

 

Five Pillsbury Doughboy Fears

People won’t adjust baking time for high altitudes

Yeast infections

The crescent rolls will turn out vaguely phallic shaped

Easy-Bake Oven = Slow Death

THAT’S NOT A FINGER COMING TOWARDS ME!!!!

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