On my thirteenth birthday, my cousin Ginny gave me a fake ID. Not so I could buy beer – so I could see R-rated movies. I had wanted to see Children of the Corn pretty damn bad but my dad wouldn’t take me. So my best friend Roland Bridger and I went to the Cardinal Theater and I flashed my new ID. They sold me a ticket but wouldn’t let Roland buy one because he was under 17 and didn’t have a fake ID. I tried to convince them he was my son but, of course, they didn’t believe me. I then tried to sneak him in one of the exits but we got caught and banned for life. The Cardinal closed down shortly thereafter. Still. I have yet to see Children of the Corn. And I never will, just on principle.
ID ID ID Ho!