Five Random Five (Valentine’s Day Edition)

Five Embarrassing Crushes

The Super Nanny

Dame Judi Dench

Melissa Etheridge

Peter Scolari as Hildegarde in Bosom Buddies

Cheetara (Thundercats)

 

Five Unfortunate Valentine’s Day Memories

Chicken pox – third grade

Had candy hearts superglued to my forehead by a-hole roommate in college after I fell asleep

High school girlfriend allergic to flowers I sent her

Romantic dinner for two turned into awkward dinner for three when she brought her boyfriend (1995)

First boy/girl party in middle school and I spent “7 Minutes In Heaven” with an American Girl doll

 

Five Bad Excuses to Turn Down a Date

Dog in heat

Just got Brave on Blu-ray

Building life-size model of Orson Welles out of Legos

Roadying for REO Speedwagon reunion tour

Those Pottery Barn catalogs won’t recycle themselves!

 

Five Rejected Conversation Heart Sayings

Hands Off, Creep-O!

Future Taylor Swift Ex

MILF-tastic

Who’s Your Caddy?

Be My #1 & I’ll Be Your #2

 

Five Les Misérables Pickup Lines

I dreamed a dream of you and me in a three-way.

Oh, I will make you hear the people sing, baby!

At the end of the day, you’d better go home with me.

You are the hottest toothless, hairless prostitute I’ve ever seen!

My number may be 24601, but yours is a solid 10!

 

Sparky MacMillan can’t smile without you.

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