FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Women I’d Marry Immediately If They Asked

Rachel Bloom

Kether Donohue

Krysten Ritter

Judy Greer

Alexandra Breckenridge

Five Overrated Things

YouTube Stars

The hashtag

Thanksgiving

Craft beer

Fan theories about TV shows

Five Historical Goats

Johann Goatenberg

Archduke Francis Ferdinannie

Alexander the Gruff

Nicholas Capricornicus

Billie the Kid

Five Good Reasons Not To Tip

You were seated next to the kitchen.

The wait staff was abusive.

Your entrée was still mooing.

The check was written in blood and, when read aloud, summoned several demons that tortured and killed your family.

It’s an outmoded practice that deserves scorn, derision and active rejection.

Five Things I’ll Never Say

This head cheese is phat yumptious!

Bartender, could you change the channel to TLC?

What this song needs is another rap breakdown.

‘Sup, bro? Check out my man-bun.

I bet that new James Bond movie passes the Bechdel test!

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