FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Candy Bars I Miss

Marathon

Butternut

PB Max

Summit

Bar None

 

Five Holidays You’ll Probably Never Get A Card For

Columbus Day

Chinese New Year

Victoria Day

Leif Erikson Day

First Day of Atlantic Hurricane Season

 

Five Foods You May Be Surprised To Hear I’ve Eaten

Habenero stuffed olives

Pork brains

Friskies cat food

Chicken livers

Cookies salvaged from a dumpster behind a bakery

 

Five Pets That Make You A Tool

Tarantula

Ferret

Dog chained up in yard

Poisonous Snake

Any jungle cat in an apartment

 

Five Sentences I’ve Never Spoken (And Never Will)

“Bartender, another Pink Lady, por favor.”

“I will pay you large sums of money to kick me in the nuts.”

“A spastic monkey pantomimes Aquarius shenanigans in Bolivia.”

“President Bush was the best leader our nation could ever ask for.”

“Please put your clothes back on, Sarah Michelle.”

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