FIVE RANDOM FIVE (All Dessert Edition)

Five British Desserts

Spotted Dick

Blancmange

Windsor Wimple

Flummery

Queen’s Buns

Five Ways To Weaponize a Muffin

Set it on fire and fling it over a wall

Bake around spring-loaded steel spikes

Drop it from the thermosphere onto unsuspecting populace

Subject to 500 rem of radiation and leave at a brunch

Mutate it into a flesh-devouring life form

Five Presidential Dessert Quotes

“Ich bin ein Berliner.” – Kennedy

“The only thing to fritter is fritter itself.” – FDR

“Four scones and seven éclairs ago.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this waffle.” – Reagan

“I don’t care if it’s my third Baked Alaska – I’m the president and I’ll have as many as I damn well want!” – William Howard Taft

Five Desserts That Could Be Stripper Names

Parfait

Ladyfinger

Turkish Delight

Marzipan

Treacle Tart

Five Cookie Bands

Ace of Biscotti

The Doors-Si-Dos

Oreo Speedwagon

Macaroon 5

Panic at Nabisco

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