FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Word That Kind Of Sound Like Mattress

Buttress

Matted

Mastiff

Patches

Katniss

 

Five Hidden Dangers In Your Home

Termites

Dry rot

Asbestos

Cryptosporidiosis

That new lamp that looks suspiciously like a ninja

 

Five Rejected Prom Themes

This Tragic Moment

Sparringtime in Paris

Date With Desenex

A Ted Knight To Remember

Night of 1,000 Stares

 

Five Reasons I Hate MTV

They stopped airing music videos

They wouldn’t hire me

They cancelled Beavis & Butt-head

Tabitha Soren never responded to my love letters

Jesse Camp, Jackass, Teen Mom, Jersey Shore – seriously, do I need to go on?

 

Five Flash Pick-Up Lines

I like fast girls.

Don’t tell anyone … but my secret identity is Brad Pitt.

What has two thumbs and owns a cosmic treadmill? THIS guy!

Yeaaaaah, I know Aquaman.

I’m only the fastest man alive when I’m fighting crime, if ya know what I mean.

 

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