People I Hate (#5 in a series)

Who: Anyone who’s ever completed an independent act from start to finish while on a cell phone.

Why I Hate: These people are a-holes, d-bags, tools in the extreme. You can see them everywhere. They enter a bank or convenience store, complete their transaction and exit, all the while talking on a cell phone, as if the device were glued to their ear (and in the case of bluetooth users, it is). They don’t speak to anyone else; they don’t acknowledge anyone in their presence. The call continues unabated, with a practiced ease of a total jerk. There might be a passing reference to the person on the other end of the line as to the cell phoner’s current whereabouts or motives (“I’m at the store … gettin’ milk.”) but those in the vicinity of what can only be called cell phone minutiae are treated to a running commentary by some inconsiderate boor in a selfish life that would best be cut short by the brain cancer this poophead will no doubt be diagnosed with should the behavior persist – although not soon enough for my tastes.

How I Justify It: I can’t help it. It’s programmed into human DNA to dislike these utter jackasses.

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