Next, Please

Why are we still talking about it? Who the hell cares? I was bored with them before they started sucking up all that unnecessary media time. Basically, here’s ten people, places and things I’m completely sick of…

50 Shades of Grey

Tiny houses (we get it … you’ve downsized. that just makes you a cheap bastard, not a real estate martyr)

Bruce Jenner

The Slap

Multiple Hashtags (say it don’t splay it)

Pooty Poot

SI Swimsuit Issue Haters (they’re hot and they’re nearly naked – so what? leave them the hell alone and let them get on with it)

Hipster Music Festivals

Quinoa

The Grammy Awards (okay, I know I’m not the target demo but – come on, a three-and-a-half hour telecast and not a single dancing halftime shark?! seriously, some producer needs to lose a job here.)

Yes, please, I’ve had it up to here with the whole lot of you. Please deposit your 15 minutes at the same door you should not let you hit you on the ass as you leave through it.

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