In Effin’ ‘El

So Seahawks versus Patriots? That’s what we got, eh? Hardly seems a fair fight. I mean, a patriot’s got guns. Seahawk’s nothing but a bird. One good shot on his musket and – BLAM! A mass of exploding feathers and poultry rains all over the place. But wait a minute… those crappy old guns were pretty pathetic, weren’t they? One shot’s all you got then you have to take, like, half an hour to reload. Patriot boy misses and that seahawk’s gonna go all mercenary on his ass. ‘Cuz what’s a seahawk got? Talons, mate. Freakin’ talons! While poor patriot is shoving his ramrod into his barrel that shawkmo is screaming down outta the sky with those talons splayed and he’s going for THE EYES! Damn straight. Patriot’s not gonna be able to do anything now that he’s blinded, right? So really – lots of variables here. If the patriot can get a good shot off, he may have a chance but if that seahawk can sink those talons into that fragile flesh then, boy howdy, send for the undertaker!

Of course, this is all hypothetical and just some twisted mental exercise really. I mean, who cares when all’s said and done? Anyone would have to be half deranged to actually waste time and effort on worrying about this nonsense.


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