Hard Hobbit To Break

Despite what you think, Peter Jackson, you are not done. You can’t be.

For the last 13 years, you have given us Hobbits and Wizards and Dwarves and Orcs and all things Middle-earth meted out in 3-hour increments dispensed every few years like a herpetic outbreak of Tolkieninity. Now, you release The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies as if your directorial journey has ended. Nice bloody try, mate.

But you can’t stop now. Seriously, there’s an entire generation that has grown up expecting a Peter Jackson helmed high fantasy in their multiplex with clockwork regularity and you cannot disappoint them or the throngs of moviegoers that await the next installment of their celluloid precious.

So what if you’ve run out of source material? That didn’t stop the James Bond people. Don’t Frodo and Bilbo and all the Bagginses deserve as long a life and as incredible an array of adventures as 007? Sure they do. And we deserve to see it and you deserve to make it. No – you owe us! I mean, you started us on this long road in 2001 and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you quit on us now.

It doesn’t have to be just new adventures and sequels. There’s spin-offs and reboots and reimaginings. Gollum’s origin, Saruman’s family reunion, an Ent mystery thriller. Recast, remake, reduce, reuse, recycle, whatever the hell it takes to keep New Zealand in business and the J. R. R. universe a-poppin’.

So get to work, Jackson. These movies ain’t gonna make themselves.

 

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