I think it was back in 1986. Me and my man, Orville Redenbacher, were hanging out at Knott’s Berry Farm (Camp Snoopy, if I remember correctly) and these punks tried to cut in line for the Timberline Twister. Turns out it was Bartles & Jaymes. Of course, O. Red was about to bust a gasket, since he and B&J had been nemeses ever since the trio had had a falling out over Betty Grable at a USO dance in ’42. So we set about to rumble, right there and then. Orville pulled out his switchblade and I got my crossbow but the wine cooler boys were packin’ some serious heat and so Orville and I cut our losses and made a beeline for the safety of Fiesta Village, where we ate sno-cones and corn dogs until our tummies hurt.
We kinda lost touch after that, he and I. But, to this day, I can never enjoy a bag of Orville Redenbacher SmartPop! Butter without smelling his old man aftershave mingled with the aroma of cotton candy and fear sweat.
Today would have been his 100th birthday. I still miss you, old friend.