People I Hate #781 (In A Series)

Who: Cookie Puss.

Why: What the hell’s he supposed to be? It’s like a space alien got nasty with a proboscis monkey. Look at him! He’s just freaky. Big bug eyes and an ice cream cone nose – tasty, sure, but if this frozen bastard doesn’t haunt your soul then you’re made of sterner stuff than I am.

How I justify it: My fifth birthday and long after the Carvel confection had been devoured by a horde of kindergarteners I awake to see his horrible visage staring at me in the darkness. My parents say it was a dream but I know the face of evil when it visits me in the night and this demonic dessert is the only thing that will never melt in the fires of Hell!


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