Fallen Arches

There’s something I need to say and I need to say it to each and every one of you non-fanboys that’s gotcher panties in a wad over the death of all-American teenager Archie Andrews.

SETTLE THE HELL DOWN!

First of all, it ain’t real. Even the most deluded geekazoid that slabs every issue of X-Men and dreams of asking She-Hulk to his high school prom knows deep in his heart that comic books are not really real. So stop your blubbering, histrionics and “How could they?!” indignation. It’s not real.

Just leave the funnybooks to the nerds you made fun of in high school and go about your business. Besides, even in the comic book sense it’s not real because it’s not even happening in the long running Archie series but in an offshoot alternate reality series and comics do this all the time with Imaginary stories and Elseworld sagas and What Ifs and out of continuity limited series and – is your head hurting? Point made! Leave comics to the fanboys that have been supporting ’em since we were in short pants. Me, I’ve used vacation time to go to comic conventions, stood in line to talk to favorite creators and debated friends about who is stronger or hotter or better or who would win in a fight – and that’s just in the last calendar month – so back the hell down.

And my prom date, She-Hulk, agrees.

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