Five Rejected Ben & Jerry’s Flavors
Cherry Andy Garcia
Five More Things Brazil Lost
A game of Candyland
The keys to the liquor cabinet
The baby weight
Five Soup Musicals
Annie Get Your Gumbo
Gazpacho and Dolls
The Music Minestrone
The 25th Annual Putnam County Split Pea
Thoroughly Modern Mulligatawny
Five Signs Your Piano Teacher Hates You
She makes you play scales wearing boxing gloves
Smacks your hands with a ruler when you screw up – and when you get something right
You say, “Hello” and she screams, “BEETHOVEN HATES YOU!”
The black keys are rigged to deliver an electric shock
The metronome lodged up your backside
Five Intelligent Ape Complaints
Human chattel smell like urine and BO.
A backful of nits and no one to pick ‘em off.
That bastard on the beach yelling by that statue thingy.
Gibbons. Am I right, simians?
Andy Serkis thinks he’s all that and a bag of banana chips.