‘Night, Mare

Here’s a tip: Never fall for the old vet school trick that a horse’s birthdate is tattooed on the anus because once you lift that tail – BAM! – you’re kicked in the head and you wake up two days later in the infirmary with no sense of smell and the serial number of some filly’s shoe imprinted backward on your forehead.

I’ve never been able to watch Mr. Ed since.

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