FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Winter Olympics Edition)

Five Rejected Winter Olympic Games

Cross-Country Skedaddling

Dodging the Yellow Snow

Loogie

Snowbroading

Bi-Curious-Athlon

 

Five Winter Olympic Crushes

Anna Sidrova

Julia Mancuso

Olga Graf

Lolo Jones

Zaika the Doe Hare

 

Five Other Eye Conditions Bob Costas Has

Astigmatism

Keratitis

Stye

Blepharospasm

Squigglevision

 

Five Rarely-Used Shaun White Nicknames

The Flying Episcopalian

Tony Hawk On Ice

The Carlsbadass

Snow White

Frosty the Bro-Man

 

Five Sochi Travel Slogans

No need to slow down – everybody’s Russian here!

Flush your troubles goodbye (only not down our toilets, please).

It’s a dog-gone good time!

Putin on the Ritz!

Our water may look disgusting but it’s safer than West Virginia’s.

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