You Can Stop It Any Time Now

Yelling at me when I walk into a Moe’s Southwest Grill, I mean.

Oh sure, I know it’s supposed to be a charming greeting that sets your restaurant franchise apart from the other chains – and maybe there was a slight novel attraction at first – but we all know now that the staff hates it, the customers hate it and it’s little more than a jarring holdover of a more unaffected, spontaneous time. It’s not even as though everyone participates: you get one, maybe two, employees who let out a half-hearted “welcome to moe’s” in hopes that enough voices will join in to drown out the obvious contempt and distaste in their own. But it never happens. It’s the fast food equivalent of when you were a kid and your mom would make you thank other adults for giving you something or having you in their home. Mom: “What do you say to Mrs. Tietelbaum?” You (muttering under your breath as you shuffle your feet in awkward defiance): “Thank you, Mrs. Tietelbaum.” You didn’t mean it and everyone knew it – just a perfunctory mandate from the powers-that-be to feign a meagre ounce of sincerity.

Well, Moe’s, you can stop it any time now.

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