FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Overrated Things

Sriracha

Tractor Pulls

3D Movies

Anything Starbucks

Groupon

 

Five Times It’s Sad To Be Alone

Your birthday

Using the carpool lane

At the end of the world

Couples skate

Doing the wave

 

Five Things That Kinda Sound Like “Sparky”

Spanky

Stuckey’s

Spark Notes

CPO Sharkey

Twilight Sparkle

 

Five Douchebags Whose Name I Didn’t Know A Year Ago

A. J. Clemente

Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford

Edward Snowden

Ted Cruz

Richie Incognito

 

Five Signs You Eat Too Much Pork

You sweat bacon

The ghost of Jimmy Dean appears to you nightly

The pigs picketing in front of your house

Whenever you read The Three Little Pigs to your kid, you salivate like Pavlov’s dogs

Your intestines are like Carnivale for trichina worms

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