100 Things That I Like

I’ve been accused of being cynical, pessimistic and downright misanthropic at times and, while I will admit to a certain amount of tetchiness, I don’t think I deserve the moniker of curmudgeon just yet. In fact, my rants and raves are nothing more than tongue-in-cheek examples of blowing off steam at the ridiculousness of modern life. Moreover, I must assert that, when all is said and done, I am an optimist. Full-tilt, capital O, card-carrying.

So, let me take a moment to reassure you of just this declaration by listing 100 THINGS THAT I LIKE. Things that make me happy, make me smile, make me laugh, make me feel good about myself, others and the world. A few of my favorite things, if you’ll pardon my indulgence. (And I promise I won’t break into song.)

100) A cat’s purr
99) Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby
98) Roadside assistance programs
97) Fresh laundry
96) The last reel of It’s A Wonderful Life
95) Donkey basketball
94) Magic Eightballs
93) The Sunday funnies
92) Pinky & the Brain
91) The smell of honeysuckle
90) Easter egg hunts
89) Coconut macaroons
88) Hello Kitty
87) The Little Rascals
86) Scrabble
85) Neil deGrass – – Aaaagghhhh!!!!

What the heck is that in my eye?!?! It ’s a stye!!! A STYE!! What the hell, am I making a pearl in there or what?! Geez, it’s like I’m getting LASIK surgery without anesthesia!

Damn and blast!! IS THERE NO END TO MY ETERNAL TORMENT ON THIS HELL OF A PLANET WE CALL HOME?!?!??!

Um.

Oh. Heh. Sorry about that. It just really does hurt, y’know. Like when I get something between my cornea and my contact lens.

Woo, well, maybe I better put off that little list thing until another time. Don’t want to seem ridiculously unhinged or emotionally unstable or anything. Um, no danger of that is there?

Well, IS THERE?!?!

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