FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Royal Baby Name Odds

Winston, 10 to 1

Banger and/or Mash, 25 to 1

Yeezus, 13 to 2

Sharknado, 1 to 1

Outdated Heritable Succession Repressor, 10,000 to 1

 

Five Comic Con Nightmares

The panel featuring Joss Whedon was cancelled

That one Slave Leia cosplayer who made Mama Cass look svelte

I ran out of Travelers Cheques on Day 2

Matt Smith called my bowtie “fawning and obsessive”

BRONIES!!!!

 

Five Children’s Book Titles in Hell

Sarah, Pain and Toil

Ramona Quimby, Age 666

Where the Wild Things Decompose

James and the Giant Peach-Colored Goiter

Winnie-the-Poop

 

Five Failed Rubik Creations

Rubik’s Parallelogram

Rubik’s Rhomboid

Rubik’s Ouroborus

Rubik’s Prismatoid

Rubik’s Tangent

 

Five Things I’ll Never Say

Shave me, Snooki.

The grilled cheese is the worst idea for a sandwich, like, EVER.

Skittlemuchpornwafflenerkins!

Merrill Lynch advised me to invest heavily in snorkeling futures.

No, I don’t think Kirk Cameron is a freaky religious nutjob.

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