Gap The Mind

It was bound to happen. I absorb trivial information like a sponge. Music titles, TV character names, comic book plots, advertising slogans, whatever useless knowledge that only serves to aid me in impressing people at pub quizzes. I barely passed most of my college classes because I was memorizing lines from Monty Python and Doctor Who trivia. And today, earlier tonight really, what I had feared for years came to pass.

I reached my limit.

Assuming the human brain is like a hard drive, mine reached capacity. In order to take in anything new, I had to expunge something else, something random, something quite possibly important. And thus with the knowledge that teen country singer Bradbery won The Voice (I didn’t want to know; I read it on Yahoo, damn them) something else gave way to the recycling bin of my extremely loaded memory. Maybe it was my first memory – in the crib, my grandparents entering the room. Nope, still there. Maybe it was the name of my first girlfriend – Bubbles from next door when I was 8. Still in there, as well. Maybe it’s something I need on a regularly basis, like my PIN number – 1999 (like the Prince song). Whew. Still got that one. Hey, perhaps it was the restaurant where I got that great salad – Village Deli, sadly now closed and it was a gorgonzola walnut salad which I still weep over, it was so good. It’s there, thankfully.

So what was it? No idea. It’s gone, I know it’s gone but I have no idea what the hell it was. And I know that for every new piece of minutiae gained I will lose something else. Of course, I  have TONS of things I can spare to lose (the film Gymakata – still there yet I’d jettison that flotsam in a heartbeat) but since it’s gonna happen at random I just know something relevant is gonna give way to something inane and that just chills me.

I mean, if when I find out the name of the Kimye baby that causes me to forget the smell of honeysuckle out of the car window that spring I got sick and had to stay home from school in third grade then I will bloody well lose it and I might take hostages.

To quote a famous motto from a philanthropic organization: The mind is a terrible thing to … um … uh .. oh … son of a bitch!


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