Five Musically-Inspired Crayola Colors

New Kids on the Black



Simply Red



Five Future Stupid Internet Fads

Cameling (posing on all fours with something stuffed under your shirt on your back to resemble a hump)

Drumsticking (eating imaginary chicken)

Saucering (holding up large round objects over your eyes)

Evolutioning (multiple people posing as the various stages from the evolution of man chart)

Papering (sticking toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe in fancy situations i.e. wedding photos & graduations pics)


Five Sounds of Silence


One hand clapping

Audience at a Yanni concert

Commitmentphobe’s reaction to “Do you love me?”

Butter screaming


Five Douchebags Whose Name I Didn’t Know A Year Ago

Patricia Krentcil (The Tan Mom)

Kai the hatchet-wielding hitchhiker

Ryan Lochte

Ugandan guerilla leader Joseph Kony

Baauer, guy responsible for the Harlem Shake


Five Iron Man Complaints

Electromagnet in chest makes TSA screenings hell

Stark Industries’ Dow Jones abbreviation is STAIN

A-holes who hum that Black Sabbath song in elevators

Pepper seems to have the hots for that dude in Coldplay

In summer, armor cooks chumblies like a baked potato in tin foil


Sparky MacMillan is fully rested and barrel-chested.


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