Princess Cruisin’


Hey, Disney. Thanks. Seriously. Thanks a lot. I’ve seen your makeover of the princess Merida from the animated film Brave and I really appreciate it. I know you’re getting a lot of flack for the image alteration – some are even calling it misogynist – but I can’t get enough of it. Sure, the Merida from Pixar’s Academy Award winning film was a cute, feisty, red-haired tomboy. But I felt a little guilty for noticing. She’s practically a child, isn’t she? I didn’t want to be attracted to her. Although I’ve always had a thing for redheads and the lovely Kelly MacDonald’s Scottish brogue made her sound so damn sexy … yet it just wasn’t appropriate to fancy someone so wholesome.

But now.

You’ve sexed her up. You’ve given her a more comely look … more fashionable clothes … supermodel tresses and a Christina Hendricks meets Kat von D vibe that makes me realize this character isn’t simply a misunderstood princess any longer but a hot vixen with a come-hither presence who’s on the prowl for something a little more mature than PG action. Yes, Disney, you’ve reimagined Merida into a sexy siren, the type of lusty hottie a bloke doesn’t have to feel bad about desiring.

So, thanks. Thanks a lot, Disney. I’m sure Walt would approve.


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