Next, Please

Why are we still talking about it? Who the hell cares? I was bored with them before they started sucking up all that unnecessary media time. Basically, here’s ten people, places and things I’m completely sick of…

The Fiscal Cliff

Layaway Angels (more like Layaway Enablers)

Who Ashton’s dating or divorcing or, well … pretty much anything Ashton-related

Cardamom, the most stupidly-named spice of all

Super villains that use hourglasses to time their death traps (no, it’s NOT retro – it’s lame!)

The BCS

Chocolate-covered berries (yes, they are delicious but dipping strawberries in chocolate does not make chocolate healthy!)

Craft beers

Hugh Hefner and his dysfunctional parade of younger and younger fiancées

Crashing things into the moon (call it science, if you like, but it’s just the engineering equivalent of lobbing crap over the neighbor’s fence when you’re bored and it’s only a matter of time until the moon zombies awaken from their millennial slumber and THEY WILL BE PISSED!)

Yes, please, I’ve had up to here with the whole lot of you. Please deposit your 15 minutes at the same door you should not let you hit you on the ass as you leave through it.

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