Thanks For Nothing

As we move headfirst into the holiday season and you prepare to gorge yourself on stuffing and turducken, let us take a moment to think of those less fortunate than ourselves. Like the cast of Animal Practice, General David Petraeus, Walmart employees, LA Galaxy fans, John McAfee, Twinkie eaters, people who wear horizontal stripes, animals used in filming The Hobbit, ferret owners, anyone who paid money to see That’s My Boy, and the parents of Amanda Bynes.

Anyhow, the point is … well, there really isn’t a point. Need and desperation and misfortune come in all shapes and sizes, no matter who you are. One man’s Thanksgiving is another man’s thanks-for-giving-us-the-shaft-and-taking-our-land. It all depends on which side of the meal you’re on. I mean, basically, no amount of cranberry sauce, stuffing, bowl games, parades or cheesy holiday specials can make it a nifty keen day for the turkey, right?

So eat hearty, my friends! Give thanks where appropriate. Enjoy yourselves. But don’t get too full of yourself `cuz, hey, this ain’t a very special episode of Blossom or anything.


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