FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Rejected Bond Girl Names

Ivana Sex

C. Teezer

Boobs Aplenty

Kisume M. Irish

Easy McFloozy

 

Five Little Known Thanksgiving Traditions

Giblet dancing

Tryptophantasy football

Turducken chuckin’

Dressing up passed out uncles as your favorite Macy’s balloon

The pardoning of the yams

 

Five Pie Injuries

Hot cobbler blisters

Crust in the eye

Sprained meringue

A la mode on the knee

Carpal tunnel rhubarb

 

Five Words That Kind of Sound Like “Petraeus”

Petrone

Petroleum

Perineum

Petra Nemcova

Pat the Bunny

 

Five Signs Your Postman Thinks You’re a Vampire

He keeps calling you Count

The crosses painted on his postal van

Refuses to deliver anything to your house during “gloom of night”

Prattles on endlessly about how Team Edward is stupid

You keep getting neighbor’s garlic-of-the-month delivery by “mistake”

 

Sparky MacMillan has failed.

Advertisements

%d bloggers like this: