Hey, Bing – stop trying to get me to use you. You’re basically the New Coke of search engines. You may taste better but I’ll drink Google or Yahoo outta habit. Even Ask Jeeves, the Wink cola of the Internet, is preferable to you. Yes, I’ve seen the commercials and the ads and the pop-ups but you’re just trying too damn hard. Like the nerd in the fraternity.  Or the homely girl at the dance. We’ve all seen the movies and it’s only a matter of time until you take off your glasses and shake your hair out of a bun and let it cascade down your shoulders in that prom dress and we all realize how hot you were all along but until then leave well enough alone.

And rethink that name, why don’tcha?


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