Next, Please

Why are we still talking about it? Who the hell cares? I was bored with them before they started sucking up all that unnecessary media time. Basically, here’s ten people, places and things I’m completely sick of…

Amanda Bynes

Peanut allergies (yes, I know they can be serious but why is this still an issue – get a plastic bubble, people)

Beer festivals

Chris Christie

The Resident Evil film franchise (this is, like – what? The 20th one in the last four years? Stop it, Hollywood.)


Beetle Bailey (this one’s been a long time coming – Mort Walker, you know your sins!)

Snoop Lion

Cupcakes (yes – awesomeness in a little paper cup but things have gone overboard with cupcake shops and cupcake ATMS and cupcake wars! Chill, cakesters – it’s just a simple baked good)

Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal – any guy who dates Taylor Swift and breaks up with her and makes her write sad, heart-wrenching melodies in which she pours her soul out in a cathartic expression of pain. Not saying you can’t date Taylor just don’t break her heart! DON’T HURT MY TAY TAY!!!!

Yes, please, I’ve had up to here with the whole lot of you. Please deposit your 15 minutes at the same door you should not let you hit you on the ass as you leave through it.


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