Five Forgotten ABC Afterschool Specials

My Mother Is My Substitute Teacher

I Was a Flintstone Vitamin Addict

Ringworm: My Silent Shame

Confessions of a Teenage Dairy Queen

Our Love Is Forbidden: The Donny & Marie Story


Five Things I Did At Burning Man

Drove my mutant vehicle

Celebrated the theme of Fertility 2.0

Watched Pyroklectic perform

Toured the art installation Star Seed

Felt completely out of place


Five Reasons to Sleep Late

An awesome dream about that supermodel you like

You desperately want to avoid a meeting a work

Your new Sleep Number® bed

The paralysis

If you get up, you’ll wake the gorgon


Five Other Empty Things Clint Eastwood Talks To

Empty refrigerator

Empty kitchen cupboard

Empty laundry basket

Empty toner cartridge

Empty nest


Five Rejected McDonaldland Characters


Hot Apple Pierre

Shamrock Shakey

The McDLTease

The Hammolester


If Sparky MacMillan had a million dollars he’d buy you a monkey.


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