MY Pen Is Bloke

I am neither sexist nor misogynist. I was raised by women and I consider myself a feminist from way back. Equal rights, equal pay – yes, all taken as read. But there are certain truths about gender differences that most, save stand-up comedians, will not discuss openly. That’s why I am so happy that the BIC company, makers of lighters, shaving equipment and stationary products, has seen fit to buck tradition and put out a pen specifically designed for the fairer sex. Yes, at long last – a pen for women only!

I love women. Some of my best friends are women. I married a woman. But we all know two truths that while seeming stereotypical are truths nonetheless: women can’t drive and women can’t use pens properly.

Guys, seriously, how many times have you had a girlfriend or sister or female co-worker borrow a pen and completely mess it up? Hundreds of times, I know. I feel your pain. And so does BIC. That’s why they’ve created BIC© For Her – a ball pen essentially for women.  No more will women have to flail helplessly at pens designed for us guys like the proto ape people in 2001: A Space Odyssey before the monolith gave them consciousness. Now, the female half of pen users will have their own writing utensils. Pen users rejoice! This is truly a quantum leap in writing.

Okay, I’m sure I’ll get some flack for this, as will BIC. But some things are made for men and some things are made for women. Ladies, I wouldn’t think about using your razors or your maxi pads. Now you don’t have to use my pen!

And if you don’t like it you can always write a letter. Now that you’ve got the pen that will let you.

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