FIVE RANDOM FIVE (Olympics Edition)

Five Rejected Olympic Games

Eight maids-a-milking

Decaffelon

Wrestling Ernest Hemingway

Pong

Synchronized cycling

 

Five Olympic Crushes

Nancy Kerrigan

Kristi Yamaguchi

Kerry Walsh and Misty May-Treanor

Lindsey Vonn

Mark Spitz (it was a confusing time at summer camp)

 

Five Places That Will NEVER Host the Olympics

Chernobyl, Ukraine

Hobbiton

Vice City

Chonchon, North Korea

Detroit, Michigan

 

Five Ben & Jerry’s Olympic Flavors

Michael Phelps’ Fully Baked

Coffee Coffee BoltBoltBolt!

Lolo Fat Greek Yogurt Jones

Cherry Rafalca

Chunky Lochte

 

Five Olympic Mascot Deaths

Olly the Kookaburra (2000, Sydney) – eaten by a drunken Yahoo Serious

Roni the Raccoon (1980, Lake Placid) – accidentally shot during biathlon

Waldi the Dachshund (1972, Munich) – unreported victim of the Munich massacre

Hidy and Howdy the Polar Bears (1988, Calgary) – drowned, victims of melting arctic ice due to global warming

Izzy the Whatzit (1996, Atlanta) – suicide by cop

 

Sparky MacMillan needs some gel and a brush.

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