SPARKY’S SUMMER TO DO LIST

Since folks have asked what I’ll be up to this summer season, I’ve compiled a little list. Now, understand it is still a work in progress but I think this pretty well encapsulates my plans for the next three months…

See Brave in 2D, 3D, RealD 3D, IMAX, IMAX 3D and DLP Digital Projection

Leave out more sex toys to confuse Chinese villagers

Teach my cats a neat dance I choreographed to Call Me Maybe

Swim with the Dolphins

Comfort Ann Curry when she gets fired

Manscape

Create new seafood delicacy called fishtoes

Record full season of Bunheads on DVR and watch in one epic dance marathon

Sell illegal fireworks at roadside stand with cousin Stumpy

Patch holes in my Spider-Man costume for Amazing Spider-Man premiere on July 3rd

Practice my close up magic for the boys down at the VFW

Build a 1:1 scale Lego model of an Easter Island head

Put taxi medallion up for sale on Craigslist

Fight Minotaur to death

Drink all the soda I can before Bloomberg makes it illegal

Watch Olympic opening ceremonies

Construct garden maze in the shape of Dame Judi Dench

Finish sock monkey

Go to Kroger and draw funny faces on watermelons with magic marker

Get Dr. Scholl’s inserts

Catch 98 Degrees reunion at Mixtape Festival in Hershey, PA

Don’t fill up on breadsticks

1) Get grandma job as bus monitor 2) make video of bullies harassing her 3) start sympathy fund 4) profit!

Stock up on Ban de Soleil for the Saint-Tropez tan

Join Julian in Ecuadorean exile

Well, damn. I’ve got my work cut out for me. See you in Autumn, suckers!

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