FIVE RANDOM FIVE

Five Rarely-Used Twitter Hashtags

#CancerSchmancer

#MonkeyPoxRules

#MyMomIsAWhore

#SoundsLikeCrowsFarting

#SoylentGreenIsPapal

 

Five Salad Bar Faux Pas

Crowding other patrons

Licking the dressing spoon clean

Not using a new plate when you return for seconds

Using salad tongs to scratch the back of your head

Drawing something suggestive on sneeze guard in your breath

 

Five Forgotten Tourist Attractions

Jimmy Carter’s birthmark

Largest Merkin West of the Mississippi

Old Indiana Pacers burial ground

Dolly Parton’s first training bra

Iowa corn maze in the shape of Mamie Eisenhower

 

Five Cereal Killers

Son of Toucan Sam

General Millside Strangler

BuzzBeeTK Killer

Boobeard

Apple Jack the Ripper

 

Five Possible Names For Snooki’s Baby

Guido

Smush

Drunken Accident

15 Minutes

Ward of the State

 

Sparky MacMillan is just three ducks in a man costume.

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