People I Hate #29 (In A Series)

Who: The toddler who just joined Mensa.

Why: It’s so ridiculous. As if 2-year-old Jayden or Madison can understand the intracacies of math and wordplay and shapes and logic. And if he can then it’s not because he studied or not because it’s the product of years of education and mental exercise but because some crap DNA strand got broken or melded or whatever in utero and mutated, making this little brainchild a freak of nature to be pitied and scorned, not emulated.

How I justify it: Eight times! That’s how many times I’ve tried to take their damn test, those smug Mensa bastards. EIGHT TIMES!!!!! And some snot-nosed little brat whose probably gonna be homeschooled and trotted out at national spelling bees to kick ass and take names and who’s Asperger’s syndrome will probably always go undiagnosed so they’ll always be awkward thanks to the parental pressure and social isolation – yeah, this freakin’ abnormal wunderkind gets in easier than crapping his diaper which he probably just did so for the love of god somebody give this kid a normal childhood and let me in Mensa!!!!

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