Med Men

When I was in my early 20s I went to a doctor who wasn’t a pediatrician for the first time. During the physical, he asked me if I was regular but I didn’t know what that meant. I’d heard the term before but I thought he was asking me if I was gay or straight. This kind of bothered me since I felt that was crossing a line and not particularly relevant to me health. Still, I told him reluctantly that I thought I was regular enough. He then followed with, “How many times a day would you say? One? Two?” I was, of course, really thrown by this one but returned with a tentative, “Gosh, no. Maybe once every few months, if I’m lucky.” The doctor looked at me, shocked, and then wrote me a prescription for the biggest dose of laxative I’d wager any human ever ingested. Man, I was nearly torn inside out by that stuff.

Learned my lesson though: always lie to your physician.

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