What’s on my mind? What have I been watching? What have I been doing? What have I been talking about? The Hot Ten will bring you up to speed.
CRUNCHBERRIES NOT FRUIT. That didn’t stop a woman from suing the cereal company because she was too stupid to realize that colors which don’t occur in nature might be artificial. What’s next? Suing General Mills because Trix is really isn’t just for kids?
VENUS TO COLLIDE WITH EARTH IN 3.5 BILLION YEARS. Dammit! And just when I’ve perfected that immortality elixir!
TRUMP OUSTS MISS CALIFORNIA. Turns out he would kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
BRAD PITT GIVES ONE MIL TO HOSPITAL. Bloody hell. You’d think a star of his caliber would have a better co-pay.
LETTERMAN APOLOGIZES FOR PALIN JOKE. Sadly, McCain has yet to apologize for giving us the joke that is Sarah Palin.
HAN SOLO, PI. If two wrongs do not make a right, how can it be that two cools make an awesome?
BONNAROO FESTIVAL HELD IN TENNESSEE. Phish and Snoop Dogg were among the performers … which may explain why Nashville’s just now coming down off that incredible contact high.
DTV TRANSITION … FINALLY. That screaming you hear is the few remaining holdouts lamenting the loss of “that pretty box with all the pitchers in it.”
LAKERS BEAT MAGIC TO WIN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor said that Orlando would have won if they’d had the richness of her life experiences and that a team of wise Latina women would have played better ball.
ACCORDING TO JIM ENDS. Eight years. 182 episodes. I was beginning to think the only way to kill this crapfest was to stab it through the heart with a wooden stake, burn the body and then salt the earth.
Sparky MacMillan is demented and sad, but social.